Trumpery: A Collection of Limericks

All material Copyright©2020 by Steve Hirsch

Link to AccordionWeb.com

 

May 17 

Headline: Trump Fires Another Whistle Blower

May 18

Headline: As More States Open, Trump Focuses on Election

Recovery’s reached a big junction,

So I, without any compunction

As more lockdowns freeze

Will be switching disease

And spreading Electile Disfunction.

May 17

Hey, wise guy, you blowing a whistle?
You make me get angry and bristle.
You question my virtue?
Well, that’s gonna hurt you,
And clearly it’s  grounds for dismissal.
 

May 16

“If we didn’t do any testing we would have very few cases.” ~ Donald J. Trump

The number of cases we’ve had?
We’re testing! That’s why we look bad!
If we don’t persist
Then they don’t exist!
It’s better already. I’m glad.

May 15

Headline: Trump Storms Out After Reporter’s Question

Limerick:

I hate these damn female reporters.
They don’t act like true Trump supporters.
They’re up in my face
And they don’t know their place.
And they sure aren’t hot like my daughters.

May 14

Headline: Ousted Vaccine Chief Says Virus Is Still Everywhere

Limerick:

I wish that our leadership might
Admit we’ve a terrible plight.
But Doc Bright’s discarded,
His fears disregarded!
(Our President sure isn’t Bright!)

May 14

Headline: Trump Floats Idea of “Obamagate” Conspiracy. Offers no details.

The case is quite open and shut.
His evil intent is clear-cut.
Obama’s foul crimes?
The worst in Our Times!
HE’S GUILTY!… (don’t ask me of what)

May 13

Headline• Fauci tells Congress that states face serious consequences if they reopen too quickly

Hey, Fauci – you’re pissing me off!
My ratings are stuck in a trough!
Do people feel sickly?
Who cares?! Open quickly!
Oh, crap!….did I hear someone cough?

May 12

Headline: President Will Not Self-Isolate

Limerick:

I’m Donald. I will not demean
My Self with a dumb quarantine.
Life gives me preferment;
I have a deferment.
(Psst, Fauci?…You got that vaccine?)

May 11

Headline: A cluster of coronavirus cases in California was traced to a coughing patient at a birthday party

Fed up with predictions of doom?
And angry you’re stuck in your room?
Go party, my friend!
And I will attend
Your funeral service on Zoom.

May 10

Taking a break from politics in honor of Mother’s Day:

I wish all a great Mother’s Day.
Though this year it’s odd, I must say.
What kind of day is it —
The kids can’t come visit,
And we’re getting frostbite in May.

May 9

Headline: Pence’s Press Secretary Tests Positive for Virus

I’m Donald. I never act wary.
This virus? It’s not even scary!
And wear PPE?
Hell, that you won’t see….
(Hey, Mike — where’s your press secretary?)

May 8

We’re going to spring Michael Flynn
Despite his admission of sin.
Could I say how far
Trump’s lowered the Barr?
I just don’t know where to begin….!

May 8

Headline: President’s Valet Tests Positive for Coronavirus

 

Limerick:

The President has been exposed!

(It’s not what you might have supposed –

Just to his valet.

He still gets away

With much that should get him deposed

May 7

The President says that it’s stinkin.’

The press treats him worse than Abe Lincoln!

Don’t know if he’s joking

Or what he’s been smoking,

But surely the man isn’t thinkin’!

 

 

May 6

The virus is from the Chinese!

Their lab is what caused this disease!

(We really can’t tell,

But hey, what the hell,

We always blame just who we please.)

 

 

May 5

The President calls his accusers

A whole bunch of liars and losers.

Yet each time he tweets

He merely repeats

“I am my own worst of abusers.”

 

May 4

“Be nice” says ex-President Bush.
Yet Donald screams at him to shush!
Now friends, just between us,
While George was no genius
‘Tis Donald who thinks with his tush.

May 1

Headline: White House Blocks Fauci from Testifying Before Congress

Limerick:

Afraid what the man might avouch, he

(The Donald) won’t trust Dr. Fauci

Doc’s ratings are splendid —

Don wants that all ended.

If not, it will make him quite Grauci.

 

April 28

I ‘m so very nervous and tense
From worrying ‘bout our Mike Pence.
At Mayo, no mask!
(I just have to ask…
Do they have a treatment for “dense”?)

April 24

The President thinks that Purell
Will cure us and make us all well.
He’s no longer keen
On Hydroxychloroquine
Because it’s much harder to spell.

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