All material Copyright©2020 by Steve Hirsch
Headline: Trump Fires Another Whistle Blower
Headline: As More States Open, Trump Focuses on Election
Recovery’s reached a big junction,
So I, without any compunction
As more lockdowns freeze
Will be switching disease
And spreading Electile Disfunction.
Hey, wise guy, you blowing a whistle?
You make me get angry and bristle.
You question my virtue?
Well, that’s gonna hurt you,
And clearly it’s grounds for dismissal.
“If we didn’t do any testing we would have very few cases.” ~ Donald J. Trump
The number of cases we’ve had?
We’re testing! That’s why we look bad!
If we don’t persist
Then they don’t exist!
It’s better already. I’m glad.
Headline: Trump Storms Out After Reporter’s Question
I hate these damn female reporters.
They don’t act like true Trump supporters.
They’re up in my face
And they don’t know their place.
And they sure aren’t hot like my daughters.
Headline: Ousted Vaccine Chief Says Virus Is Still Everywhere
I wish that our leadership might
Admit we’ve a terrible plight.
But Doc Bright’s discarded,
His fears disregarded!
(Our President sure isn’t Bright!)
Headline: Trump Floats Idea of “Obamagate” Conspiracy. Offers no details.
The case is quite open and shut.
His evil intent is clear-cut.
Obama’s foul crimes?
The worst in Our Times!
HE’S GUILTY!… (don’t ask me of what)
Headline• Fauci tells Congress that states face serious consequences if they reopen too quickly
Hey, Fauci – you’re pissing me off!
My ratings are stuck in a trough!
Do people feel sickly?
Who cares?! Open quickly!
Oh, crap!….did I hear someone cough?
Headline: President Will Not Self-Isolate
I’m Donald. I will not demean
My Self with a dumb quarantine.
Life gives me preferment;
I have a deferment.
(Psst, Fauci?…You got that vaccine?)
Headline: A cluster of coronavirus cases in California was traced to a coughing patient at a birthday party
Fed up with predictions of doom?
And angry you’re stuck in your room?
Go party, my friend!
And I will attend
Your funeral service on Zoom.
Taking a break from politics in honor of Mother’s Day:
I wish all a great Mother’s Day.
Though this year it’s odd, I must say.
What kind of day is it —
The kids can’t come visit,
And we’re getting frostbite in May.
Headline: Pence’s Press Secretary Tests Positive for Virus
I’m Donald. I never act wary.
This virus? It’s not even scary!
And wear PPE?
Hell, that you won’t see….
(Hey, Mike — where’s your press secretary?)
We’re going to spring Michael Flynn
Despite his admission of sin.
Could I say how far
Trump’s lowered the Barr?
I just don’t know where to begin….!
Headline: President’s Valet Tests Positive for Coronavirus
The President has been exposed!
(It’s not what you might have supposed –
Just to his valet.
He still gets away
With much that should get him deposed
The President says that it’s stinkin.’
The press treats him worse than Abe Lincoln!
Don’t know if he’s joking
Or what he’s been smoking,
But surely the man isn’t thinkin’!
The virus is from the Chinese!
Their lab is what caused this disease!
(We really can’t tell,
But hey, what the hell,
We always blame just who we please.)
The President calls his accusers
A whole bunch of liars and losers.
Yet each time he tweets
He merely repeats
“I am my own worst of abusers.”
“Be nice” says ex-President Bush.
Yet Donald screams at him to shush!
Now friends, just between us,
While George was no genius
‘Tis Donald who thinks with his tush.
Headline: White House Blocks Fauci from Testifying Before Congress
Afraid what the man might avouch, he
(The Donald) won’t trust Dr. Fauci
Doc’s ratings are splendid —
Don wants that all ended.
If not, it will make him quite Grauci.
I ‘m so very nervous and tense
From worrying ‘bout our Mike Pence.
At Mayo, no mask!
(I just have to ask…
Do they have a treatment for “dense”?)
The President thinks that Purell
Will cure us and make us all well.
He’s no longer keen
Because it’s much harder to spell.